Well I gotta go to dreamworld with my cousin mum and stepdad yea it was pretty mint. There was the smell of churros being cooked.I saw people on the rides being swung around in the sky. I heard my mum paying for the tickets.
We walked in and the first thing I saw was this massive tower The Giant Drop my cousin wanted to go but the thing was i have a massive fear of heights so it was a bit challenging for me to well get on it.My cousin begged to go on the `Giant Drop`with her. We start to walk towards the Giant Drop when I started to get a funny feeling in my stomach like I was going to be sick.
I was feeling a little sick and even scared as I knew what would be coming up,a drop that looked 100 meters high. As i looked up at the sky that I would be soon up i became a bit dizzy.
After about 2 minutes of having what seemed like my heart was going to beat out of my chest I finally got on the ride. As I was being strapped in I said a few words I shouldn't have said but yea least not go there.
Once the the ride started to climb up the side I saw a pretty mean view so yea. When the ride finally reached the top and looked down everyone on the ground looked like ants. But the best part would have to be when the ride started dropped it gave my a mad rush.
Hey! I like how you explained everything in paragraph one and two, I liked the way you made it sound short and snappy. Your story has made me think that i should describe more in my story about a specific time rather than writing more over a longer span of time. But I feel like you need to work more on your punctuation a bit more. Other wise great job! :)
ReplyDeleteHey Zoe thanks for tell me what I need to work on.
Delete